1. How to spot THE INSTRUCTIONS
THE INSTRUCTIONS come in all shapes and sizes.
They are often found in and around:
- Tall buildings with statues of lions outside
- Faces with an angry expression
- Faces with a smile seen only in the mouth but
(crucially) not in the eyes
2. The other instructions
There are plenty of other sorts of instructions, which
can of course be useful.
- Try not to insert any part of your body into this
pond: it contains an irritated crocodile
- For best results, keep both eyes open while landing
this lopsided helicopter
- Do not under any circumstances eat the angry man's
3. What THE INSTRUCTIONS want
You see, THE INSTRUCTIONS aren't here to help you.
They want to help someone or something else.
THE INSTRUCTIONS say things like:
- No one's ever done THAT before: it CAN'T be a
- Please do the SAME thing as all those OTHER
people over THERE
- Hear that person talking in the PARTICULARLY
loud voice? They must DEFINITELY be RIGHT.
4. If you follow THE INSTRUCTIONS
If you follow THE INSTRUCTIONS it is unlikely
anyone will ever be very cross with you.
If you follow THE INSTRUCTIONS you are
guaranteed to feel neat and tidy (but also a little
short of breath)
5. If you don't follow THE INSTRUCTIONS
You will likely face some tricky moments. Apologies for this.
However, there is also a good chance that something
6. The choice