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'I'm fed up looking like Father Christmas,'Muttered Father Christmas one year.'I need a new outfit. I must move with the times.
To vaguely amuseAnd banish the bluesWriting clerihewsI would choose.
Mr MerryhewWould ferry youAcross the Thames at BrayOn a tea tray.
Catfishtake catnaps on seabedsSticklebacksstick like glueTerrapinsare terrific with needlesBut what does a didgery do?
We're the Mafia catsBugsy, Franco and ToniWe're crazy for pizzaWith hot pepperoni
Newly baked and fresh todayEat while hot or take away.
When Raymond Gough joined our classHe was almost a year behind.'Sanatorium', said Mrs McBride'So I want you all to be kind.'
Midnight. A knock at the door.Open it? Better had.Three heavy cats, mean and bad.
'On buses and trains you wouldn't believeThe crazy things that passengers leave:
A pair of crutches, I kid you not,Hot-waterbottle, full but no longer hot
The man sitting on the settee,stroking a cat and watching TVisn't me.I am the settee.
Hello! thanks for callingI'm just off on my bikeThat's my room up thereTake a look if you like.