Sandwich

We goin' on a school trip today,
De whole class goin' to Whitney Bay,
Ah teckin' me ball an' bat with me
To play beach cricket, an' let me see,
Ah mustn't forget me new frisbee,
An teacher say to bring a sandwich.

She say to bring a waterproof mac,
An' a change o' clothes in a knapsack,
For it bound to rain, she guarantee,
An' half o' we gwine end up in the sea,
An' we mustn't forget, any o' we,
Teacher say, to bring a sandwich.

She say we can bring a can o' drink,
Ah will bring some fizzy orange, ah think,
Some gobstoppers ah can share with Lee,
(An' everybody else, probably)
An apple or orange, an, ah definitely
Won't forget to bring a sandwich.

Ah ask me mother for some bread,
Some butter, lettuce, an' some cheddar cheese, 
don't need nothing more,
An' ah just headin' for the door
when ah bump into me Granny Lenore,
An' she teck away me sandwich.

She say, don't know what you mother thinkin' bout,
How she could let a growin' child go out
With one little sandwich alone to eat,
But don't you worry, chile, in this basket,
I have cone pone, chicken an' jerk meat,
You don't need to teck a sandwich.

Ah say to her, you don't understan',
Ah cannot teck all of dem things, Gran,
De whole o' de class will laugh at me,
She say, I do you favourite fricassee,
Ah tell her, Gran, teacher specifickly
Say dat we must bring a sandwich.

But she not listening to a thing
Me say. She waltz pass me an' den she bring
Out a bowl o' rice an' peas,

A whole hardo bread, if you please,
Ah was down on the floor, pon me hands an' knees
Beggin', give me back me sandwich.

Den Gran teck out a thermos flask,
Ah shut me yeye, ah fraid to ask,
But ah wonder what next she woulda produce,
She say, look, some nice soursop juice,
So gimme dat fizzy nonsense, dat's no use,
And she teck it, jus like me sandwich.

Gran, yuh have enough to feed de whole class dere,
She say, dat is right, yuh must learn to share,
Ah put something in for your teacher too,
And she pull out a bowl o' callaloo,
Ah ax meself, what ah going to do?
Ah only want to teck a sandwich.

No matter how me beg an' plead,
She was like a mad bull on stampede,
So wid chicken, rice an' hardo bread,
Me heart an' foot dem heavy like lead,
Ah wave goodbye to me street cred,
An lef' without me sandwich.

All day ah try to pretend
Ah didn't know dat basket, but in the end,
Lunch time come an we all gather roun',
Spread some blanket on the groun'
An everybody settle down,
To open up dem sandwich.

Teacher say, 'What have you got there?'
Ah pretend ah didn' hear,
But dat basket wouldn' go away,
So ah open it an' start to pray
dat they wouldn' laugh too loud when ah display
What ah bring instead o' sandwich.

Well everybody yeye dem near pop out,
My friend Lee start to lick him mout',
So ah ask dem if dey all want some,
Dey look pon me like ah really dumb,
In no time we finish every crumb,
An dem all feget dem sandwich.

When teacher say, 'Thank your grandmother for us',
Ah feel so proud, ah nearly bus',
She say, 'That was a super meal,'
Everybody say, 'Yeah, that was well cool, Neil',
An' yuh don' know how glad ah feel
Dat ah didn' bring – a sandwich.