Created: 27th August, 2015

The room

Hello! thanks for calling
I'm just off on my bike
That's my room up there
Take a look if you like.

I'm Norman the door
I'm always on guard
Monsters, vampires
And grown-ups are barred.

But I will admit
I've got more than one side
So if you wipe your feet
I'll open up wide.

Hi! I'm Sybil the sofa
I've got room for you all
Stretched out and comfy
The length of the wall.

I'm Charles the chair
And I'm made out of wood
And I stand up straight
Like a proper chair should.

Not like that Sybil
What a right lazy lump!
Found I don't doubt
On a garbage dump.

Or taken from a skip
On a dark, dark night.
If I had my way
She'd be set alight.

Did you hear what he said?
What a horrid old stick.
If he wasn't antique
I'd give him a kick.

I feel sorry for him
If the truth were known
He was born one of six
Now he's all on his own.

Excuse me! Excuse me!
Won't you look where you're walking!
You'll miss the best part
If you're too busy talking.

I'm Kismet the carpet
Handwoven on a loom
By artists in India.
Aren't I Queen of the Room?

Hi! I'm Doug the rug.
(Keep the place snug.)

I'm Miranda the mirror
Do you like what you see?
Typical! People look at themselves
Hardly ever at ME.

I'm Winston the window
got a smile on my face
When I let the sunshine
Stream into the place.

And I'm Kirsten the curtain
I'm usually quite prim
Though I'm terribly proud
To hang out with him.

I swish and I glide
Hanging on to the rail
But when the wind blows through Winston
... I billow like a sail.

As you've guessed, I'm a desk
I'm called Mister Trevor.
Ink-stained and wrinkled
I'm terribly clever.

(Unlike the BOY
I have to report
who only likes music
And TV sport).

I'm Nelly the telly
Yes I'm his best friend
He just sits and stares
For hours on end.

He laughs at my jokes
To my music he dances
When I ask any questions
He shouts out the answers.

I'm Bessie the bed
Sorry about the mess.
Who plays football in his sleep?
Go on. Have a guess.

I'm Larry the lamp
And the reason I'm bright
Is that I sleep through the day
And most of the night.

Take my advice
And get plenty of rest
So when you're switched on
You can shine at your best.

I'm Philip the fireplace
Does my tummy roll!
What wouldn't I give
For a nice lump of coal.

Four regiments of books
Too numerous to mention
Ready for action
We stand to attention.

My name is a number
A brand new PC
And since I arrived
He's had eyes just for me.

I'm Timmy the toy box
I hold all the treasure
That over the years
Has given such pleasure…

Lego, Transformers,
A guitar without strings,
Cars, rubber dinosaurs,
An elephant with wings.

Glove puppets, a skateboard,
Marbles, and rings,
Seashells and pebbles
All magical things.

Quiet everybody!
Somebody coming!

Hello, I'm back.
What do you think of my room?
Boring, isn't it?

(c) Roger McGough from The Bees Knees