Created: 9th May, 2016

The Lost Lost-Property Office

'On buses and trains you wouldn't believe
The crazy things that passengers leave:

A pair of crutches, I kid you not,
Hot-waterbottle, full but no longer hot

A bouncy castle deflating slowly
Glove discarded by a one-armed goalie

Pink chiffon tutu for a large ballerina
A can of worms and a concertina

A ventriloquist's dummy with nothing to say
An Egyptian mummy all dusty and grey

A scaffolder asleep in a Spider-Man suit
the tangled remains of a failed parachute

A Viking helmet and a broken lance
A pair of elephant's underpants

A file with Top Secret stamped in red
(Inside a card, April Fool it said)

An Alpine horn and a didgeridoo
A signed photo of Winnie-the-Pooh

A shot-putter's shot and a pole vaulter's pole
Two Yorkshire puddings and a toad-in-the-hole

Headphones and hearing aids by the score
A mountain of mobiles and a lavatory door.

A bucket of toenails and a wooden plank
Two air-to-air missiles and a Russian tank

Lost any of these? Bad news I'm afraid,
The Lost-Property Office has been mislaid.'





Roger McGough - The Lost Lost-Property Office